I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Is it penis luge time yet?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
