Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
