I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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