The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
