Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
