he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think my moral compass just broke
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
