I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
