Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
