We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
