first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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