Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
