My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize