Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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