ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
