I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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