True but thats because hes a fetus.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
