my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
