Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
did i just pee glitter
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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