We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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