People in love make me want to vomit
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
