If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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