just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So apparently I’m into choking now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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