New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
