Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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