dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
