so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
