Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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