names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
