hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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