I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
