Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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