apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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