She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
His nipple licking is glorious
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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