i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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