I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
