WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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