There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
