her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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