So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
