sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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