I think I am morally bankrupt
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
