No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
