y did u give ur computer a hand job?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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