I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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