I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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