yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
