Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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