Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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