Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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