Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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