problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
