I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
