Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
