just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize