wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
