Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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