The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
