i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
