i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
