he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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