too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
