i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
