Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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