I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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