How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
